I am a Year 8 student at Kereru Park Campus in Auckland, NZ. I am in Akomanga 3 and my Kaiako is Whaea Lujoe. This is a place where I will share my learning. Please note that some of it will not be complete, it will be my first draft. Remember to be positive, thoughtful and helpful when you leave me a comment.
You have used a lot of details about the events in your plan, it looks like you have your timeline is well thought out. Perhaps you could add some more information about the settings. During the climax it would be really cool if I could picture an event. Can you give me some 'show not tell moments' to help me imagine these things clearly.
Please structure your comments as follows: Positive - Something done well Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say Helpful - Give some ideas for next time or ask a question you want to know more about
Hey Jorjia,
ReplyDeleteYou have used a lot of details about the events in your plan, it looks like you have your timeline is well thought out. Perhaps you could add some more information about the settings. During the climax it would be really cool if I could picture an event. Can you give me some 'show not tell moments' to help me imagine these things clearly.